If I could go into it now, I'd tell you, I’d tell you that I, I have wished for a normal family more than once. More than once I have found my head on the table, fingers against my closed eyes, hand resting upon my heart, almost like in the adult fetal. I look into my uncle’s eyes and say the words; I wish I had a normal family. He laughs and tilts his head to the right. He has a hair full of gray and a warm round face. He is in the midst of telling me about love, love advice and the importance of going after, after what you want, if you think you have found it. Found it. That if you have a connection, you should give it a shot. I am not so sure. Still not sure. What to say to him or me or her.
So my brother has just announced that my father, my half blind even though he looks normal, partially disabled from a fall, a fall of 18 feet, had gotten into a fistfight. A fistfight. Now my father is a fighter always has been, but I thought he had hung up his hat, his gloves. I was wrong. If I could go into it now, I'd tell you that I am overloaded. I can’t deal with much more from anyone else. So much I escaped away. Away from my home and my life to get away for a few days. If I could go into it now, I'd tell you not only did we locate my mother who is crazy, that when I walked into my aunt’s to get away from it all, I found out my cousin had just left for rehab, and now at dinner the fist fight. Fuck my life. Is all I can think. All I think is who needs a drink. Who needs an escape? If I could go into it now, I'd tell you know that I desperately want normalcy like a child yearns for Christmas morning. I want a normal life, I want a normal family, I want a love that lasts. If I could go into it now, I'd tell you I want to know it will be okay. It will be okay without me going crazy, or going to rehab, or getting in fistfights. I feel normal in unbelievably eccentric, unbelievable family. Both sides have thrown me for a loop. Both parents have more quirks that the average. I want the normal but I fear the normal will be boring. What would I cry about, what would I laugh about, what would keep me up into the wee hours of the night, whose problems would I solve? If I could go into it now, I'd tell you as much as I want normalcy. I fear, I fear what normal might feel like. Like. Normal. Family. Life. Maybe. Maybe Not.
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You are just so good at letting the energy of the story, the writing, just carry you (and by extension) us away. You tell us this story in a rush, which is exactly the way you experienced - and so we experience it that way as well. And as usual, you use the repetitions beautifully!
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