1. Chris is not in love with Maddy, twenty years his senior but the mother of his child. And no, it's not what you think. She's HIS boss, she seduced him, has the power and shall we say the testosterone.
2. Chris is one of those drifting men. Weak and absent father, evaporated mother. Very smart but lacking in discipline. Becomes yoga teacher and seeks mother figure. Ends up working for Maddy.
3. Maddy is impossible. She's a New Yorker at her core, heart of flint from the West Side, well-educated but as the youngest of much older parents, lacked any supervision or even concern. Competes with much older sister long enough to finish Barnard but then heads West to discover herself. Father buys a building for her to construct a yoga school. Becomes an imperious boss but deeply lonely. Uses her power, just like a man, to prey on men who work for her. 4 marriages and divorces and counting. Reaches 45 and decides to become a mother. Consort irrelevant.
4. What's wrong with this story is that neither character has deep strength, its going to be a war of attrition between the two of them and now there's a baby in the balance. How to you handle innocence in the story?
5. You thought that you might be reading a story, or a poem, but in reality reading, planning and writing are all one thing and so this is what happens, even if you think that something is wrong with these assumptions.
6. There's always poetry, there's always the flow of life, the discarded emotions and the new ones.
7. Time is time. Nothing is wrong with nothing. It's all just slipping away.
8. The character is seeking power in the face of absurdity. I'm sure we could discuss that.
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I love the surprise of getting to #5. I love the way the whole piece takes a turn, and I love the turn it takes. #8 is just terrific. You managed to turn your planning into both a poem and a writing lesson. Great!
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