As For God - Anne Wright

A framed photo of Will and Diana laid on the coffee table. It was one of those pictures taken when they were on a trip somewhere, it looked like Florence or Bologna, one of those photos that had turned out so beautiful, with each one of them smiling and looking like they were in love with life, holding hands and leaning into each other. I’d seen it on the mantel but never looked at it carefully. Will was wearing the sweater I had given him when we were lovers. It must have been taken sometime last year after I had stopped seeing him, but now I knew that I had never really stopped loving him.

I sat as still as I could, with Will’s head on my lap. I think he was sleeping. The living room was messy, like nobody cared about it. Newspapers piled on the chair, it looked like a week’s worth of unopened papers, folded and smooth and unread. A few wine glasses and highball glasses cluttered the tables, and little plates with uneaten food – crackers and dried out, curling pieces of cheese and some squashy-looking red grapes – sat unattended on the side tables next to the upholstered chairs. Once I had admired these chairs with their pretty fabric cushions, but now I noticed they were stained, and one chair looked like their cat used it to sharpen her claws. They had funky lace doilies, the kind that old people like to use, draped over the arms. And the sun came in from the crack in the curtain and it shone like a spotlight on the hardwood floor, illuminating dust balls and the debris of unclean life.

I leaned to pick up the picture in its wooden frame. The glass made it hard to see so I took it from the frame. There was Diana, looking blonde and kind of wrinkled, wearing those stupid designer glasses that made her face too long. Will had the same goofy smile that I’d fallen in love with, but I could tell he was straining, being there with her when he was missing me, and our warm arms clutching hard, and our mouths kissing until we were raw, and our sweat making a sucking sound when we finally separated and lie side by side in the motel bed.