A Small Door - Melody Cryns

The door was so small, I wondered if I could squeeze through. Well, let’s see, I thought. I’m a lot thinner than I was a year ago. Maybe now I can get through that blasted door, the door I’ve been avoiding for so many years. Before the doorway was so small that I knew there was no way I could get through and now – now there’s hope. Shall I give it a try or shall I just walk by that door of opportunity once again? I see that cute little girl taunting me, smiling and hopping up and down on one foot. She’s got long, long reddish blonde hair and now she’s waving at me. “Dare you to come through the door!” she shouts.

She dared me, darn it. Did that little girl just dare me? At first I wondered who she was. She’s not any of my kids, of course. Oh yeah, of course. I know that girl. “You come back here. You’re supposed to be hangin’ with me!” I shouted to her.

“Try and catch me if you can!” the girl yelled, her long hair bobbing up and down, her little pixie face all crinkled in a big smile.

But there’s no way I’m as fast as that precocious little girl. I would never be able to catch her. She’s off and at it again. She’s my muse and she’s run away through the small door that I can’t squeeze through and I’ve gotta catch her if I can. I haven’t even tried to squeeze through the door in a long time. It’s bright and sunny over there on the other side and the grass at the park is a deep green – back when they’d run the sprinklers in…in…where the heck is she anyway? Is that Golden Gate Park? Yes, it’s gotta be. Yes, it is. That little girl, my muse, stepped away from the doorway and I couldn’t see her.

“Hey, where’d you go? You come back here!” I yelled. Suddenly, the young girl ran by the doorway, taunting me yet again.

“Well, come and get me. C’mon. What are you so afraid of?” She stood still for a moment, watching me, looking so cute in her turquoise bell bottom pants and striped blue and white t-shirt to match. For a moment I loved her as much as I loved my own kids…even though she was a very bad little girl for not listening to me.

What was I afraid of? I mean, it was a small door, but I should be able to squeeze through it. I might have to bend down and heave myself through, but why not?

“Okay, okay, I’m coming after you. I ran over to the small child-sized door and pushed myself through. It was a tight fit, and for a moment I thought I’d be stuck like Winnie the Pooh was when he tried to get down the rabbit hole. But I squeezed some more, and…and…oh it feels so tight, I thought, so tight, but I think I’m gonna make it.

“Aha!” I burst out into the other side, where the sun was shining down on the Greens, a small triangular shaped meadow in Golden Gate Park where I played as a kid. And there she was, that little muse of mine smiling up at me.

“See, it wasn’t that bad, was it? I knew you could do it!”

She grabbed my hand and we skipped through the grass and my knees didn’t even ache.