What I Wished I Had Said - Melody Cryns

How do I tell Mike Halloran how great I think he is, that as I get to know him better and see him, I like him more and more? Maybe I should not tell him, because I don’t want the magic to end. I’d rather bask in his strength and warmth as we hung out together at the Superbowl party we attended – at my favorite hang-out place, Woodham’s.

I finally got the nerve up to send an email to Daveed letting him know I only want to be friends, but he is not going down without a fight. Now he’s counter-offered with a “friends with benefits” option, detailing the specifics of this type of relationship in several paragraphs of a rather long, voluminous email. And I found myself thinking, is that what people do when they’re in relationships? They outline it? No, no, this can’t be. So I haven’t had the heart to tell him no…my heart isn’t with you. I like you, but my heart isn’t with you…how does one break another’s heart?

Then there’s my long-time friend and guitar teacher, Mike Sult – because of Mike Sult, my life is surrounded by music and wonderful musician friends. Because of Mike, I still play guitar. He’s inspired so many people – and then I got to know Kenny, who owns Woodham’s, and the rest is history. There was a time, like all those years he was separated from his wife, that I would’ve given anything in the world to ask him out…yet I didn’t. He’s kind of a shy guy, and well…I didn’t know how complicated is life was so I kept my feelings to myself. A couple of years ago, his wife moved back in, so whatever chance I might or might not have had went out the window. But we’re still such good friends, and Mike Sult remains my wonderful guitar teacher friend.

He was at the superbowl party yesterday and I introduced Mike Halloran to him, and Mike Sult won the grand prize of a 10-person tent…and we both noted that we had matching superbowl necklaces on.

It was so good to spend time with Mike Halloran and for him to talk to all of the awesome bass players and musicians – he’s a great man who has seen and done so much but he had a stroke eight months ago that left one side of his body paralyzed, yet he doesn’t let it get him down.

After the game, Mike H. drove me home because he had come over earlier and hung out with me and we’d driven over in my car. Then reality hit and I had to go pick up my daughter from her friend’s house and bring her home.

Once Megan was all settled in and all was well, I thought – what the heck? Lemme go check out what’s happenin’ at Woodham’s tonight? I still had my football superbowl necklace on and when I got there, Mike Sult was playing guitar – he had never left! Larry was hosting the jam – he’s an excellent guitarist. He wasn’t at the superbowl party yesterday though. It took me a few moments to realize that my good friend Mike Sult was totally SMASHED! In all the years I’ve known him, I have never seen him like that. Something about him walking up to me and slurring … “Oh yeah, I remember you from earlier! Look, we’ve got matching necklaces!”

Kenny came up and said that Mike was attempting to ride his bike home. It was like, no way dude. You are NOT riding your bike home in your condition. “Am I really that smashed?” Mike slurred…all I could say was, “I’ve seen worse.”

How I wanted to hug him and maybe even kiss him still…even after all these years. And I knew it wouldn’t have been difficult. But of course it just wasn’t something I’d do.

Needless to say, Kenny was also pretty drunk although you couldn’t tell, and so was everyone else there. Since I was sober, I told Mike I was driving him home as he has to teach a class at Foothill this morning. Kenny had to physically bring Mike’s bike inside and tell him it would be safe ‘til the next day and he was NOT riding it home. It took a lot of convincing, like about an hour or so!

Finally, I just said, “C’mon, you’re going home. You’re my friend and I’m not going to let you ride your bike.” I brought Mike out to my car and made him get in! It was weird seeing him that way. I mean, this is my teacher and friend…and Mike is usually such a calm, cool and collected dude you know? He fretted over what his wife would think of him not being able to ride his bike home, and I said that was the least of his worries. The funny thing was, the whole time I was driving Mike home (a little ways and the dude never would’ve made it on his bike, trust me on that!), he was using the butter knife to attempt to get that CD out of my CD player and you know what? That sucker STILL won’t come out! When I see you again, I have to get you to check it out. I just don’t know what to do. It’s like that CD is stuck in there FOREVER!

Of course, Mike Sult was not himself so maybe that’s why he couldn’t get the CD out!

So I dropped Mike off at his house and he gave me a hug and kiss and told me I was a good friend and then he said, “You’re not going to tell anyone in my class about this are you?” He looked like a kid who had done something terribly wrong. “No, of course not!” I said.

And, of course I mean that. I would never say anything to people in our class.

So I headed back to Woodham’s and just stayed for a little bit…told Kenny that Mike S. made it home safely. listened to some good blues and rock n’ roll and then headed home. I had done my good deed of the day!