It Was a Test - Melody Cryns

Maybe that’s why he hasn’t called me even though I asked him to – via email – more than once. But now I’m not sure if I should text him because he says that when I text him while he’s working, the text interrupts his work-related calls. What’s up with that? You’d think he’d be happy to hear from me at any time, right? Maybe not. I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do anymore – whether I should email, should I call – should I just ignore him and not communicate at all? Like the other day, when he called and said he was in the area, my friend Debby had just pulled up and we were going to take an adventure to Larkspur – way off in Marin County which is really far from where I live – to see the Sun Kings because Debby had never seen them before. The Sun Kings are awesome and they know how to evoke the spirit of the Beatles in special ways that are difficult to explain.

I did offer for Mike to go to Larkspur with us – but he declined, saying he had many things to do – errands to run, etc. and etc.

There are always too many things to do and too many reasons why, this entire three-day weekend, I only got to see him for about two hours. He was able to squeeze me in between errands on Monday – after I had lunch with my friends. I could’ve gone over and visited with my friends after the lovely birthday lunch, but he had finally called – so I dashed home right after we ate and met him in front of my apartment to capture those precious few moments he was available. I remember when I jokingly mentioned the “precious moments” we had to share, he said, “Oh no, don’t go all Hallmark on me!”

What the heck is that supposed to mean? Don’t go all Hallmark?

And why doesn’t he even have time to answer most of my emails? Occasionally I get a one liner…I know he’s busy.,

But aren’t we all? I’ve been working long hours at work, and I barely have enough time to do my laundry because by the time I finally get home from work I’m exhausted. And I wasted Monday afternoon and evening feeling sorry for myself – because HE left at 3pm and then I found out that my daughter wasn’t even coming home until the next day. You’d think I’d be thrilled to have all that time alone – for writing, playing my guitar or anything I wanted. But no, I’ve been working so hard that I really needed to veg out a little and read a little, and watch That 70’s Show reruns a little and fret about him a little – and wonder, is he really just testing me? Maybe he wants to see if I’m going to hang in there.

Or maybe the reality is that I should also be dating other people instead of worrying about HIM so much.