The hunger gnaws at me constantly no matter where I’m at or what I’m doing. I’ll be sitting at work trying to get a huge project done or driving down the street trying to get stuff done or headed out on a mission. I’ve gotta get it done the gnawing says…I’ve gotta work on my writing, pour more words on to the page, edit my pieces and do something with them.
Then something happens – either good or bad. Maybe I’ll have a bad date with a guy who normally is super nice or I come home from work and cops show up at the door. Now we’ve been given one more chance by the property manager – one more complaint from anyone in the tiny complex about noise and we’re out – I’m to give 30-day notice. Can we suddenly become quiet and not be annoying neighbors? I didn’t even know we were annoying until two days ago when the property manager called and said I should leave… Like I’m just going to move out and leave tomorrow.
Although this is just a funky apartment and I’m sure I can find another one, or at least I hope I can, we’ve already made this place home – how many times must we move and uproot – again? Most of my friends have their own homes and they’re settled. They’ll stay in their homes for the rest of their lives, but me – I’m still trying to figure out where we’ll end up, me and Megan, and I have no idea how long Megan will stay with me because she’s 17 now and she wants to be with her boyfriend. I can honestly say that I’m not sure where we’ll be living in the next few months. We can’t live on egg shells wondering what will happen, having to be so quiet…
I hunger for the words, for a life that’s more settled and not so uncertain – yet isn’t writing itself uncertain? When I pour the words on to the page, how do I know the words will be any good, that anyone will read them or listen? Sometimes they’re good and sometimes they’re not so good. That’s just the way it is. Sometimes life is good and sometimes a few rocks get thrown down on the road and I’ve gotta either cross over them or around them.
What to do, what to do… It’s like that John Lennon song, Instant Karma’s gonna get you…and we all shine on, c’mon, everyone, and we all shine on, like the stars, the moon and the sun, and we all shine on…!!!!”
No matter what happens, I’ll never stop writing any more than I’d stop singing, playing guitar or listening to music (especially the Beatles). I’m not the best guitar player or singer in the world, but somehow it doesn’t matter. And no one can ever take one thing away from me – my words. No matter what my words will always be mine…through the good times, the bad times and the tough times. I can always count on my words and my writing…
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I always love when you write about writing! This is such a good way to use the 'hunger' prompt. The image of pouring more words on paper is just terrific - I found myself thinking about it all day. And I love how you write about writing being uncertain, yet necessary. Lovely!
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