Lisa's plan had been to take Sam out, for coffee, for dinner, maybe even for a drive down to Palm Springs. It was as far as she had thought, just to take him as far away from the Fold as she could but they'd talked for half an hour, all in all, and she had failed to get him off the property. When she finally got in to her car, he was still in the mouth of the driveway.
She started the engine and he turned to go in. She looked back. He was lost to her in the darkness. Then he emerged in the light over the door where the girl was waiting and they went in together. Lisa saw him bend towards her, the way he did when he was listening. It always made him seem particularly kind.
The Victorville Denny's was busy. Couples and families sat under the bright orange colored lights conferring. Lisa walked to the counter, feeling blind, blind with anger, blinded by the strange overhead lighting, by the sound of all these people so apparently happy to be eating what was bound to be bad food in this ugly room. All these crazy people, what was wrong with them? Why didn't they want something better?
At the end, she had been reduced to screaming at him. What is wrong with you? Why can't you see what they're doing to you? He had listened as if she was reading a not very interesting news paper article. You can't even go with me to get coffee, she screamed. You can't even go with me to talk. I love you, she tried. You know that.
At the counter she tried to imagine what would have happened if she'd gotten him there. It's two miles away, she had begged. Bring her with you, she had offered.
It wouldn't have helped, she thought now. The boy behind the counter brought her coffee -- weak, bitter in a shallow, wide cup. Who would leave eternal salvation or whatever they offered Sam for this? She stared at the menu while the boy watched her, waiting.
"There is nothing here," she said. "Nothing I want."
"Rough night?" the boy asked. He had braces and fresh red acne on his cheeks.
"Yeah." That was all she could safely say. A simple expression of interest undid her.
"Guy?" the boy asked.
"Yeah," she said again.
He waited some more. Finally he said, "So, anything else?"
"No. Thank you." She willed herself to be kind. To keep her frightened, terrible thoughts to herself. I used to be like you, judging everyone, full of my power but now I know better, Sam had said. Your pride is evil. She smiled at the boy. "I'm just going to sit here for a little, if that's ok." She put her still cold, stiff fingers around the lukewarm cup and tried for some time not to cry.
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Amazing how you pull off the scene in retrospect! I'd never recommend doing it this way, yet it works beautifully. I love the way you write about the diner, I love the way Lisa is disappointed about what she has to offer Sam instead. You are really good at writing the reflective voice, which is never easy.
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