The great flying spaghetti monster rules my world.
I am touched by his noodly appendages
His benevolent meatballs
His holy pasta
His authentic sauce
His messy implications for theorizing religion
Every Friday: a holy day
Heaven: stocked with Opus One and a chorus line of lovers
Hell: similar but with wine in a box and people you can’t believe you slept with.
Instead of the Ten Commandments – The Eight “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”
And when those of other religions criticize my beliefs
I shall rest in faith
that my God
has larger balls than theirs.