You Could Have Fooled Me - Elizabeth Weld Nolan

You could have sent me flowers
You could have sent me wine,
You could have taken me dancing,
Pretending to be all mine.

You could have hired a limo,
You could have planned a bash,
You could have taken me hiking
On a coastal eco-dash.

You could have cut a caper,
You could have kissed my hand,
You could have sent a Valentine
Or led my marching band.

You could have stroked my cheek,
You could have rubbed my back,
You could have brushed my hair
Or rolled me in the sack.

You could have fooled me, sweetie,
You could have kept me blind,
You could have kept me happy
And easy in my mind.

Instead you came a-calling
To tell me your heart had jumped
To a new love for the season:
My place in line was bumped.

I‘d have been happy not knowing
You’re a two-faced rotten bum,
I never loved you anyhow.
Don’t slam the door, old chum.