Walking Together - Bonnie Smetts

And so we’re talking a walk together. I hadn’t planned on walking with anybody this early in the morning. It’s so quiet, the ocean’s edge barely a ripple, like somebody’s lip barely turned up.

“I can tell you’re not from here,” this nice man says. “Because if you were from here, you wouldn’t be walking along the water at this hour. Might be running like that crazy guy up there.” He points to the path that runs in front of the apartment buildings, my apartment building. I want to just think about the ocean here and my brand new apartment but he’s talking to me.

“After awhile, you’ll just get used to it, the water being here,” he says. “I come down on my way to get my coffee and I check it out each morning.”

And that seemed like a nice thing to do. I was doing just that except it was more like meeting the ocean for the first time. And so we’re walking along, this new man and I and I’m not sure I want to be but he’s nice enough.

“So, I’ve asked in the most round about way about you…where are you from?” he says. He’s smiling and turning to me as we walk. The sun’s coming up behind his head.

“Nordeen, I’m from Nordeen, and yes, I just moved in,” I say, half annoyed and half liking his smile.

“Nordeen? That sounds like the name of somebody’s aunt,” he laughs, and for minute it seems like he’s laughing at me. “Must be far away.”

“Nordeen’s about four hours from here, in a slow car. That’s how long it took me to get here,” I tell him. And I remember how slow I went, creeping down the roads, terrified about driving some place I’ve never been but want to be. It got sunnier every mile I went with a brightness that started to hurt. I’d pulled into a gas station and bought a dark pair of sunglasses, big round and black. The darkest one I could find and then I drove straight on to this ocean where I’m standing right now.

“I’m from four hours from here, up across the state line, not too far from Mansville,” I say. He’s smiling and looking at me as we’re walking along. And then I decide I don’t want to be going any further. “I gotta go now, I gotta go back.”

“I’ll walk you back,” he says.

“No, no thanks, I’d rather have some time here without anybody around,” I tell him.

“Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he says, now looking like I hurt his feelings.

“No, it’s just, I’m just, yeah, I just like to be alone in the morning,” I say. I have no idea if I like being alone or not. I’m just feeling squeezed by this man even though the ocean’s on one side and it goes on for farther than I can see.