Surprise Invasion - Cindy Rasicot

Chloe awoke stone headed. She took am Ambien at 1:00 a.m., woke at 6 a.m. and was groggy from the medicine. Her depression covered her like a dark cloak. It felt like a surprise invasion, gathering momentum during the night. The nights were always the hardest. The worries and the fears gathered like small tribes of wounded animals, chanting and echoing in the woods of her mind —never allowing rest. She hadn’t always been like this. Last week was the worst, a sudden slide down a slippery precipice. She was scared. It felt like a storm that had overtaken her body and spirit. She had to admit she was powerless in the face of the storm. But she was going to seek help, going to a group that had promised to provide structure and support to combat the dark forces of her nature. She was in a war, a simple war to regain her center, to regain some semblance of positive thinking.

Things were difficult at home and that was part of the huge ground swell sweeping her off her feet. Her son had mononucleosis and her husband was preoccupied with a bad performance review at work. The whole family seemed to be grappling with difficulties, gasping to catch their breath, to combat internal and external invading forces.

Chloe looked outside the window. It was bitter cold outside. It never snowed, but there was a soft cover of white sprinkles that topped the bushes and the ground. A new type of cold surrounded Chloe inside and out. Inside there was a numbness that worried her. She’d always been in touch with her feelings, but not today. They had been planning a trip to Thailand in just two weeks, the Christmas holiday season. Since her son was sick they were going to have to cancel the trip. Everything seemed to turn upside down. There were too many things coming at her. Refund the tickets, help her son with his illness. Chloe’s tank had run dry, her well was depleted. She was going to have to find a way to rally herself, take care of herself. She reminded herself, One step at a time. One step at a time.