Friday, October 29, 2010

Nemesis - Anna Teeples

His palms were sweating so much that the ink on the race form was starting to fade away. It had been a very long day with dust collecting around the collar of his neck sticking to the salty layer of stress that cover him. Jared had come to the track early today. Bonnie thought he was over helping Jim finish the cabinets for a remodel project that came through from a friend. He told Jim that he needed to spend the day driving over to Frankfort to see about a possible job. He was alone in his masterminded plan to dig himself out of this hole. When was the last time he slept through a night? He just needed some breathing room.

He liked the jockey on his horse. Kinship Ride. A tall chestnut thoroughbred that he knew was going to make a difference. Jared had his ups and downs all day and it came down to the final race of the day. It was only worth his while if he went big. Let it all ride on this one. This was his ticket back to sanity. He felt good. The trainer was well known for taking difficult and skittish horses and turning them into moneymakers. He just knew that victory beer would taste sweet later tonight.

The pack was tight as they rounded the corned for the final stretch. Stretching his neck he could see Kinship break towards the rail and the jockey press for that extra burst for the final 100 yards. The hooves were growing louder as they approached him. His mouth started to water as his hands systematically crunched the race form. It was still a tight race, the camera snapped. A photo finish is not how he wanted the race to end. The minutes ticked away like years. And the winner is…. Nemesis!

1 comment:

  1. Nice sense of desperation here! I also really love the way you get into the character's body - which is something I noticed in all your writing this week. Nice pacing, nice build up of tension. And you have a character with something at stake - always a terrific place to be in fiction.

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