I Would Live That Moment Over Again - Melody Cryns

I don’t know how it happened. I mean, nothing was going on in my life when it came to guys and relationships – nada, nothing. And it was best that way because I’ve got a lot going on with the job, the master’s program, and my high-maintenance daughter. Of course I love music so much – I could easily be a music whore following great bands around and hanging out with them and dancing to the music until my knees and hips hurt too much to dance anymore. That’s what brought me to Woodham’s Lounge in Santa Clara and that’s how I’ve gotten to know all these wonderful musicians. It’s like they’re all my friends and I love that.

So then this guy named Harold sashays into my life swinging me around the dance floor, whispering complements into my ear that I hadn’t heard in years…opening something up from the deep recesses of my mind and heart that have been closed and protected for a long, long time.

But Harold’s breath was laced with whiskey when he whispered into my ear and after a while the stories that I loved to hear did not always ring true. He definitely had the gift of gab. So why am I sweating it or worried about the fact that Harold has stopped calling me – ever since I confronted him last Friday night at the Mike Osborn Show he was working at. I had been invited to a private party where my favorite classic rock band, high-edge rock, Full Throttle played and had danced and jumped up and down with men dressed as women, a dude dressed like a Viking, another dressed like Elvis and one who had painted his face like one of the dudes from Kiss. It was a whirlwind night where I literally dashed from one place to the next because I’d promised Mike Osborn I’d take photos of him wearing his Scottish kilt while playing bad ass guitar.

I knew Harold would be there because he was doing the sound for Mike Osborn that night and he did tell me that his friend Shari was visiting from Michigan, that she also had friends and family to visit and that he’d be driving her around places and he hoped that didn’t bother me. I said it didn’t – at first.

So I danced and got to act a little crazy at the private party and finally I had to jet on out giving the peace sign to all the guys in the band who are dear to my heart now ‘cause I’m one of their regular fans and drove to Los Gatos Lodge where Mike Osborn was ripping it on guitar wearing his Scottish kilt, a wig and even blue and white face makeup. The dance floor was filled with people and I didn’t see Harold at first. Then I noticed him dancing with this chick, yeah, his friend from Michigan. When he saw me, he ran over and hugged me and said, “Finally, you made it!”

I had arrived for the last hour. In spite of all of the red flags about Harold, seeing him made my heart flutter. I couldn’t help it. Then my friend Vikki ran over and hugged me. I was totally dressed like a hippie with tie-dye and beads and the whole bit – and bell bottoms that were way too big for me held up with a belt. Harold wore his martial arts outfit and his friend Shari wore another one of Harold’s outfits.

So we all had a good time dancing to Mike Osborn and his band’s music, and afterwards when Harold went outside to smoke a cigarette, that lady Shari from Michigan started talking to me. I asked if she was having a good time in California and she said she had traveled all the way out to California just to be with and hang out with Harold.

What? Harold told me differently. I started to put two and two together. Harold had not been completely honest with me about this woman, but then again, I never knew when Harold was completely honest. I did confront him when I caught him alone for a few and he denied knowing the friend had arrived just to see him. How could he not know, c’mon? then he tried to justify it by saying, “Oh I’m in the music world and this happens…”

Well, that was just the last straw, worse than whether he really had two black belts in martial arts, and whether he had a Ph.D. and a law degree…I looked at him and somehow couldn’t picture him spending years pouring over books…then again, that might have been another life.

I knew at that moment that Harold and I would never be anything more than friends.

But I will never forget that moment when we first kissed in the parking lot outside my work building at 11:00 pm at night and how it felt, the electricity between us, and then one of the security people shined lights on us as if we were naughty teenagers, but after she saw me and recognized me as someone who worked in the building, she said, “Go for it! You only live once.”

That was a special night…and even though Harold is out there with another woman from Michigan, telling her the same stories, even though it’s over with him, I will not take back that moment – no matter who I end up with.