Dear Doctor Roth,
As much as I love sitting in a cold waiting room in nothing more than a paper gown, I have decided to collect my crumpled clothes and my dignity and return to my home; to the piled up dirty dishes and unmade bed I left behind hours ago so as not to be late for this appointment your receptionist so graciously offered me when my call finally got through on the third attempt months ago. It's not that I don't enjoy having my breasts repeatedly groped and squeezed under cold metal while someone half my age tries to decipher whether they are watching a tumor or a scratch on the screen while simultaneously discussing the last episode of American Idol. It's just that I have had this time to really sit and think about it all: life, that is. I mean if it is just a glitch in the machine I still have life to contend with. If it is the dreaded C word, I imagine the worse case scenario is death; which can't be much worse than these last several hours. I therefore must thank you for curing me of my fear of death. I also thank you for the atmosphere you provided during my stay: the fragrant scent of rubbing alcohol, the warm water in Dixie cups, the stale peppermints, the gossiping staff, the 2001 Good Housekeeping magazines, the elevator music and the incessant crying from both the colicky vomiting baby to my right and the regretful bearded post op guy in a dress to my left. My God, this was fun. We must do it again soon.
Yours truly,
Patient #428-41-9100
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Okay, I really loved your poem for What's Worth the Risk, but I had to post this one! We've all been there - at least those of us with breasts. I will never go for a mammogram again without remembering this. Very funny. And perhaps just a bit too real.
ReplyDeleteHaving contracted Swine flu and visiting my long term "doctor," actually a nurse practitioner, who combines high level intelligence with a warm, caring, hands-on level of support and care, I realized how very lucky I am.
ReplyDeleteLucky to be alive and lucky to have a medical encounter that is healing rather than demeaning.